


Repulse

by katrinawritesthings



Category: SHINee
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-11
Updated: 2015-12-11
Packaged: 2018-10-21 01:00:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10674432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katrinawritesthings/pseuds/katrinawritesthings
Summary: daddy au except not about the bangingHe sends Jonghyun a heart back, and then, every time his worry takes his focus off of his work for too long, sends another emoji. Smiley faces, puppies, that one of the lady dancing in the red dress, just occasional playful little texts to make Jonghyun smile.tumblrtw for mentions of panic attacks nd self-harm





	Repulse

Jinki is going to fucking cream himself soon if he can’t find a way to deal with this. He’s practically grinding on the underside of his desk as his phone vibrates with _another_ snapchat from Jonghyun. His little is really doing his best to rile him up today. This time it’s a video and Jinki breathes out a deep breath as his hand twitches. He wants _so much_ to watch it but he feels like if he looks at any more he’ll _have_ to go sneak out to his car or something to jerk off. He’s glad he’s earned himself a high enough position in this business to get him his own office, relatively sheltered from prying eyes, keeping the fact that Jonghyun has been sending him picture after picture of himself on their bed private. **  
**

His phone vibrates a second time and Jinki’s hand twitches again for half a second before shooting forward to grab his phone by himself. He pulls his headphones from his computer and switches them to his phone before he taps the video, just to be careful, and when it starts playing, he’s thankful that he did. Jonghyun’s long, drawn-out moan plays directly into Jinki’s ears as he presses the big pink and blue vibrator that he’d been teasing himself with for the past while all the way into his hole, thighs twitching under pretty lace thigh highs and socked toes curling in pleasure. A soft, soft whimper of “daddy, frick, it’s so--” floats out of Jonghyun’s mouth before the video cuts short. The picture that follows lacks the vibrator, but features instead Jonghyun holding himself open with one hand, hole wide and empty, with the caption, “Ready for you to stretch me wider <3”

“Fuck,” Jinki hisses, dropping his phone back onto the desk. His dick throbs in his pants and he pushes his chair away from his desk, already debating on whether or not it’ll be safer to jerk himself off in his car or in the bathroom. His car, probably; he can say he’s taking his lunch break a little bit early today. First, though.... he slouches a little bit in his chair, glancing quickly up at the window on his door to make sure no one is going to come in to talk to him. Spreading his legs, he double taps on Jonghyun’s reply to bring up the camera. The way he touches his cock through his pants to just adjust it to be obviously visible through the fabric makes him shudder. He’s more worked up than he thought. It’s as he’s trying to figure out how to get a good angle--appreciating like usual the skill Jonghyun has for shit like this--that he gets another vibration from Jonghyun. This time, though, it’s a text message.

Jinki pauses in his attempts at professional photography. Being sent a text in the middle of a bunch of sexts is never exactly good. He taps his way out of snapchat and then into his messages, opening the text as even more pop up under it.

**From: Honey Love  
1:22pm**  
Jinki wait i suddenly feel just really gross and i dont want to do this anymore i cant

**From: Honey Love  
1:23pm**  
Im sorry daddy i cant do thisbim not oksy im not good im disgustinh anf stickyand dirty

**From: Honey Love  
1:23pm**  
I feelllike im ggonna throw up] imbso fcukign diguseting

Jinki snaps himself out of his shock at the mess of typos and distress Jonghyun is sending him after a few seconds. He doesn’t even think about his boner as he quickly taps out a reply.

**To: Honey Love  
1:25pm**  
Jonghyun, it’s okay. I understand. You don’t have to keep going, you don’t even have to clean up. I’ll do it when I get home.

**From: Honey Love  
1:26pm**  
Daddy im sso sorrty

**To: Honey Love  
1:27pm**  
Don’t be, sweetheart. Take deep breaths like we practise, okay? You’ll feel a little better soon. And then take a shower.

**To: Honey Love  
1:29pm**  
But please, please, please don’t scrub yourself so hard like last time. I know you feel dirty, but it’s not an external thing. You’re just sweaty, remember? Scrubbing yourself will just make you hurt.

**To: Honey Love  
1:29pm**  
I’ll be home as soon as I can, okay sweetie? I love you.

**From: Honey Love  
1:33pm**  
I lovbe yuo too jinki

A slow sigh of relief leaves Jinki’s chest when Jonghyun finally replies. Those four minutes were the longest of his life. He rubs his thumb over the bumps of his phone case anxiously, still worried. Jonghyun often switches from being completely in love with sex to completely repulsed and disgusted by it. That part isn’t exactly new, and usually all that happens is he shakes his head when Jinki starts to try something. It’s when it happens _during_ sex things that it gets really serious, and it’s only happened twice before. Those were always the worst case scenario but Jinki is sure that this time tops those two because this time he can’t be there to help.

His foot taps restlessly against the carpet under his desk. It’s not even two; the very earliest he can leave work is four, and even that’s a stretch. He’ll have to pull a favor or something. He doesn’t even remember what he was working on while Jonghyun was sending him pics. He tries to figure it out, to get back on track, but he keeps distracting himself with worries. After ten agonizingly long minutes, he snatches up his phone again to send Jonghyun a new text. His little is probably still in the shower, but they’ll be there for him when he gets out.

**To: Honey Love  
1:45pm**  
Make sure you dry your hair really well so your head isn’t cold, okay?

**To: Honey Love:  
1:45pm**  
And you can use my lotion if you want to.

**To: Honey Love:  
1:46pm**  
Have you caught up on Steven Universe? Maybe have a little marathon and I’ll join you when I get home.

**To: Honey Love:  
1:46pm**  
I bet Roo wants to snuggle c:

He stops himself before he can send too many. He knows that Jonghyun is feeling guilty right now, guilty about too many things. Guilty for wanting sex because he feels like it’s dirty and shameful, guilty for thinking that sex is dirty because he knows that it’s not, guilty for getting Jinki all worked up and then stopping…. Jinki doesn’t want to make him feel guilty by seeming too worried about him also. He does his best to focus back on his work, trying to imagine Jonghyun snuggling up on the couch with his favorite stuffed dog toy and watching his favorite cartoon. When he next gets a text from Jonghyun, it’s just a single thumbs up emoji, a short reply that lets Jinki know that he's okay for now. It sets Jinki’s nerves a little at ease, but he still worries.

**To: Honey Love:  
1:54pm**  
Do you feel like you can eat?

**From: Honey Love  
1:55pm**  
:(

**To: Honey Love  
1:55pm**  
Do you want me to bring home food?

**From: Honey Love  
2:00pm**  
Yes pls

**To: Honey Love  
2:01:pm**  
Okay, sweetheart, I will.

Jonghyun sends him another thumbs up, and also a heart, and Jinki lets out a slow breath. Well, okay then. That’s good enough for now. Jonghyun still feels nauseous, but maybe won’t in a few hours. He sends Jonghyun a heart back, and then, every time his worry takes his focus off of his work for too long, sends another emoji. Smiley faces, puppies, that one of the lady dancing in the red dress, just occasional playful little texts to make Jonghyun smile.

At four, miraculously, he manages to get off work early. He sends Jonghyun a quick text from his car letting him know that he’ll be home soon before he heads out of the parking lot. It takes all of his self control to not speed through the streets and down the highway, to not be rude and rush the drive-through worker, and to not sprint up the front steps of their house. It’s almost five by the time he gently pushes open the door and peeps around the corner into the living room.

The first thing he sees is nothing, but then, his eyes fall on a little mass of colorful pillows half covered by a blanket in front of the couch. A pillow fort. Jonghyun is still anxious and guilty. He heads to it quietly, not wanting quick footsteps to scare Jonghyun, and crouches down in front of it. He can just hear the sounds of Garnet kicking ass from inside. Jonghyun must be watching on his phone. On the pillow in front, there’s a little sign in colored pencil that says, “Please knock before entering.” Jinki looks at it for just a moment, then sits down with his legs crossed.

“Knock knock,” he says gently. There’s a pause; then the voices from inside stop and some soft rustling starts. Jinki fixes his sweetest smile on his lips as the pillow inches to the side to reveal Jonghyun, all nestled up in even more pillows and blankets, with Roo cuddled to his chest, a coloring book and box of colored pencils sitting by his head, and a watermelon juice box on top. Jonghyun himself blinks at him with big, red-rimmed eyes over his phone.

“Hi daddy,” he says in a small voice. Jinki lets his smile soften to be even warmer as he straightens up a pillow.

“Hey, honey bunch,” he says. “Are you feeling better?” He doesn’t ask if Jonghyun is feeling _okay_ because he knows that that isn’t even a possibility today. _Better_ is the best he can hope for right now. Jonghyun wiggles, squeezes his stuffed toy closer to himself, and nods a tiny little nod.

“Sort of,” he mumbles. Jinki hums. Sort of. Sort of is good. He smiles at the way Jonghyun’s fingers play with the soft velvet fuzz of Roo’s fur, and then points gently at the coloring book.

“Have you been having fun?” he asks. Jonghyun nods again and this time reaches a little hand out to move his juice box and tug the book closer. Hie sleeve is covered with cute little puppies, Jinki notes. He’s changed into his jammies already.

“I colored in the one with Lady and Jaques,” he says, flipping through the pages of Disney characters and stopping on the two dogs. “I didn’t stay in the lines, but… I wasn’t really trying to.” He holds the book up. Jinki looks over the picture with interest. It’s pretty dang good. Jonghyun always manages to blend pencil colors together in a way that Jinki can’t even begin to attempt. He can barely even tell where Jonghyun went out of the lines. He gasps softly as he turns back to Jonghyun, clapping his hands in light applause.

“It looks wonderful,” he smiles, reaching over to follow the swirls of brown in Lady’s ears. “My little artist.” Jonghyun’s lips curve up into the first tiny, flattered smile so far; Jinki smiles even wider. “Do you want me to put this one up on the fridge?” he asks, holding a hand out for the book. Almost as soon as his smile appeared, it slides off of Jonghyun’s lips and he pulls the book further into his little fort.

“Nnn,” he mumbles, shaking his head. “I don’t want. To remember.”

“Ah,” Jinki says. He understands immediately. “Okay, baby, we can leave it in there.” Putting it up on the fridge will just remind Jonghyun of the time he felt awful and had to color to cope instead of just for fun. He fiddles with his shoelace for a second before he suddenly remembers the food he brought. “Oh,” he says, and grabs the little Happy Meal box. “Look what I got,” he sings playfully. Jonghyun’s lips quirk up and down again and he curls more into himself.

“Maybe… maybe later?” he says softly, like he’s scared that Jinki will get mad. Jinki just nods, putting the box by Jonghyun’s pillow fort door.

“Promise me you’ll eat at least something before bedtime?” he asks. They can put his nuggets into the fridge if they have to, but he doesn’t want Jonghyun going to bed hungry. A juice box isn’t nearly enough. Jonghyun hesitates, then nods slowly.

“Okay, daddy,” he whispers. Jinki smiles. There’s his good boy.

“Do you want to snuggle?” he asks gently. He wants to be able to hold Jonghyun in his arms, press little kisses to his temples and whisper comforts to him--but Jonghyun curls more into himself, head shaking so hard his hair falls into his eyes.

“No, I d-don't--want to be touched, I don’t--I-I’m not--”

“Shhh, shh,” Jinki says softly. “I won’t touch you, Jonghyun. It’s okay.” He makes his voice as soothing and reassuring as possible, keeping any disappointment out of his tone. Still Jonghyun wiggles back, clutching Roo closer to his chest. Jinki watches his eyes mist over with tears of shame and guilt and distress, but before he can say anything, before he can even try to make it better, Jonghyun closes them and takes a deep, shaky breath.

“Can you… call me cute?” he asks when he opens his eyes again. “Please?” His eyes are still watery as he blinks at Jinki and Jinki finds himself nodding without even thinking about it. If Jonghyun wants to be praised he can absolutely do that. He moves to lay on his stomach, taking the spare pillow Jonghyun offers him with a smile, and rests his head a comfortable distance away from Jonghyun’s fort.

“You’re cute,” he hums. “Super adorable. Lovely. Gorgeous. Kind and considerate. Sweet and talented and funny and strong. Humble and hardworking and a true poet. My honey love.” He whispers that last one softly, almost reaching out to caress Jonghyun’s face but stopping himself just in time. Jonghyun’s cheeks have been slowly darkening with each one, smile going from tiny and insecure to wide and flattered. Jinki grins seeing him so charmed like this, seeing him try to hide his face in his pillows. He’s glad he can help with just a few simple words. He wiggles the tiniest amount closer and taps his fingers against the carpet in front of Jonghyun’s little door.

“I’m glad you exist in my life and I love every second that I get to spend with you,” he says. Jonghyun makes a little noise this time, small and flattered but almost embarrassed, and Jinki chuckles softly. He won’t push that any farther. “Also,” he says, switching to another topic, “you smell really nice.” It’s a faint smell, cinnamon and oak wood, and it’s had Jinki breathing deep this whole time. Jonghyun giggles softly, bringing Roo up to hide behind until just his eyes are peeping out, cute and playful.

“I smell like _you,_ daddy,” he says. Jinki can’t see his smile, but he can see the way his eyes crinkle up with it and that’s almost as good. He smiles with Jonghyun, shrugging shamelessly. That was kind of his point. He likes when Jonghyun smells like him. He knows that Jonghyun loves it too, the comfort of Jinki’s scent following him around. “Um, daddy,” Jonghyun says then, wiggling a little bit closer. “Can I have my food now?”

Jinki gasps his excited little gasp again. Food. Yes. Food is very important, and he nods as he gets to his knees and grabs Jonghyun’s little happy meal box. The fact that Jonghyun feels better enough to eat makes his heart soar in relief. It might not be a perfect solution, but it’s a start. He undoes the box for Jonghyun and hands it over, smiling at how Jonghyun first immediately goes for the little plastic toy after he sits up in his fort.

“Oh my gosh,” he whispers when he pulls it out. “Jinki,” he squeaks, looking up and clutching the little bag tightly. Jinki’s grin turns smug.

“I told you they had the Strawberry Shortcake girls back again,” he says, gesturing at the little doll in Jonghyun’s hand. Jonghyun squeaks again, eagerly tearing at the plastic.

“I know, but, frick,” he says as he takes the toy out and holds her gently. “How did you get Orange Blossom?” he asks, fixing up her dark hair with a smile as wide as his face. Jinki shrugs innocently, even more proud of himself than he was before.

“Luck,” he hums, and by luck he means he specifically asked for her because he knew that Jonghyun had been wanting her for almost a year to finish his collection with his favorite doll. Jonghyun beams at him like he doesn’t believe Jinki’s lie for a second and then sets up Orange Blossom to sit pretty next to his juice box.

_“Thank_ you, daddy,” he says. “Thank you _so_ much. For everything.” His voice goes a little quieter there at the end, a little more serious and earnest as he looks at Jinki with those deep eyes again. Jinki smiles easily back and holds his hand out to ask for a fry.


End file.
